Guiding & With Her Puzzles: 2 images of my mother

Originally published in Please See Me-bias issue November 20, 2020

https://pleaseseeme.com/issue-6/art/artists-statement-rc-barajas/

The woman in these two photos was my mother, and it’s the trajectory of her life, really, that tells a tale of bias. After graduating from Tufts in 1946, she was denied admission to the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy by the Dean who clearly stated that this was in order to leave room for the men returning from the war.

That career-altering rejection changed the course of her life. She left all that was familiar behind, drove across country, and became one of only a handful of women at that time to earn a Masters in Economics at Stanford University. Hired by the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco, she soon became editor of the Monthly Review.

But mid-century America almost invariably dictated that women were to raise children and "make" the home, and so in deference to my father’s career as a physician—which there was no question of derailing—her path was again rerouted. 

And so a woman with a first-class mind, little patience for children, no love of housework, and an outright dislike of cooking found herself placed in that role quite literally 24/7. To her credit, she was never outwardly bitter, and threw herself into her life with energy and commitment. But I have wondered about her sacrifices more and more of late. The magnificent equality between Ruth and Marty was not to be my mother's lot.

About the photos: Always fiercely independent, my mother was in need of care at the end of her life as she suffered from dementia and physical frailty."Guiding" shows her caregiver's hand providing gentle support. "With Her Puzzles" reveals her daily routine of doing jigsaw puzzles on her iPad. She used to say how guilty she felt, doing that instead of "something useful”. This image was made with a pinhole (lensless) camera, the long exposure accounting for the dream-like quality. Both photos were shot on film and printed in the darkroom.